Why is Response.Write not binding?

I'm stuck with code that is failing to bind. It's not using SQL, it's just a simple form using Response.Write in the codebehind.

Here's the code:

Protected Sub Page_Load(sender As Object, e As EventArgs) Handles Me.Load
    If Not IsPostBack Then
        'Populate DataTable
        Dim dt As New DataTable()
        dt.Columns.Add("fname")
        dt.Columns.Add("lname")
        dt.Rows.Add()
        dt.Rows(0)("fname") = Response.ContentType = "fname"
        dt.Rows(0)("lname") = Response.ContentType = "lname"

        'Bind Datatable to Labels
        lblfname.Text = dt.Rows(0)("fname").ToString()
        lbllname.Text = dt.Rows(0)("lname").ToString()
    End If
End Sub